It was inevitable.

About three weeks or so ago, I got a text from the boss lady to come to her office ASAP.*

When I got down there, the Big Boss was on speaker phone.**

The first words come from her: “Hi, Amy. First, you didn’t do anything wrong.”***

<dog head tilt> ****

Okay. Well, at any rate, I was very glad. What’s going on, though? I’m worried…and intrigued.

So here’s what had happened:

I posted on Twitter (a rare occurrence) about a lesson that I was really excited about, because it sparked connection, understanding, and more light in the world. I read a book for kids called, “Introducing Teddy,” about a teddy bear called Thomas who is sad, and finally tells a friend that they really feel like a girl teddy, and not a boy, and she would prefer to be called Tilly. It is a sweet book that you would think would lead to an excess of love and compassion, wisdom and understanding, rather than fear and wrath and ignorance and intolerance.

You would be right. But you would also be wrong.

A far right fearmongering account found my post.

Very few people comment on my posts, a couple of likes or loves, maybe a comment or two, but on this “libs of TikTok” site there was so much vitriol and hatred, I was floored. At first, I was shocked. Then…it was kind of exciting. I had an incredible amount of power over so many people! Evidently, I trigger AAAALL the MAGAs. But as I read on, I just got depressed at all the horribleness and idiocy in the world, or at least the ignorance and misunderstanding.

Some of it is funny. Like the guy/bot who wrote that I looked like a man. And I wish I could respond, so I could post an image of a person agape**** and explain to him that the ENTIRE LESSON is about the fact that gender is a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT! And why does he think there’s anything wrong with the way men look? Some are quite decent looking. <Photo of my love, and Gavin Rossdale.>**** But you can’t respond, because that’s just a dumpster fire waiting to happen.

There was a 5+ minute video with a woman who seemed sincere, who just didn’t understand that the book is not to suggest to kids that they might be trans (horrors!), but to understand and accept others who may not be cisgender, like probably the vast majority of people they see in their lives.

At any rate, now I’ve got some trolls. But it’s showing me that I’ve also got the loveliest friends, because they’re reporting my trolls/bots for me. And fighting for a better world like that is what fosters love and connection.

Fortunately for the trolls, I’m a little tech challenged. And I don’t know HOW to see their shitty posts. SO JOKE’S ON THEM!

 

 

*Oooooooohhh, girrrrrl, you’re in trooooouuuuble….

**SHIT, GIRL, START a-PACKIN’!

***…general troooouuuuuble? Uh oh…

****Look one up on your own, bitches, I’m busy.

So yesterday was horribly frustrating. I couldn’t get my demos to upload to my site, so I couldn’t send out queries to producers or authors, so I felt stuck, and all I did was look around sites like The Voice Over Network and Facebook* and get overwhelmed. I had to edit a chapter to calm down and remember, “Oh. This is why I do this.” And also, “Oh. This is why I’m a theatre actor in Chicago, and not hustling in LA.”

So, my body, feeling awful, told me that this is unsustainable. And I decided to make a plan: Post, don’t look. The internet is mostly ugly, and it’s not for you. You get to exist in the real world, in forests, backyards, beaches, and your own private Disco Booth.

 

 

*Feh. May Meta grow like an onion, with its head in the ground. But now that I’m Marketing Me, I kind of have to.

I cannot believe how much I’m getting out these days. Last night, my friends from the night before and I went to Berger Park Coach House and saw another friend workshop her one-woman piece “about” bathtubs. The script was excellent, the acting was astounding, and the directing was amazing. The complete piece was lovely, in the most sensory sense of the word. It really just needs a producer to make it happen. Autobiographical, but fictional. I’ll yell all about it when it happens for real so you can see it.

***HIGHLY RECOMMEND!***

“Eileen Tull is a theatre QUEEN!” -me, in awe