Smile! My colon’s on camera.

A colon does smile, in a way. Very broadly. Today is literally the shitty day, Colonoscopy Eve. I can’t eat, and later tonight I’ll have to drink prep, which is the crappy part (again, literal) of the experience.

The actual colonoscopy is delightful, entertaining, and informative. In the past, I’ve usually only been anasthesia’ed to the twilight level, and haven’t been completely under. And it’s a lovely time of being in the moment, because you’re too loopy to be anything else. And onscreen, you get to see the inside of your colon, which is incredibly interesting, and the part that blows my loopy mind is that it’s happening simultaneously with the strange thing you feel rummaging around in your body. It’s a fully immersive experience, so to speak, although I guess you’re the thing in which the immersion is happening.

And then there are the crackers and farting. David Sedaris says it much more eloquently than i do. I’m just excited. It’s like going to the science museum, or the zoo.

But it’s the reward for drinking the prep. How can you have any pudding if you don’t drink your prep?…Pudding might not be the right metaphor, here.