Today, I went for my swim, but Lake Michigan scared me. There were several factors involved.

The first was that I was exhausted. My wonderful houseguests and I went kayaking yesterday, and my wings were tired. I added 3 minutes to my lap, at least.

The second was that the sun kept going behind the clouds. It was cool and dark. Visibility was maybe 4 feet. I don’t know why that bothered me today. Didn’t help that I had foggy goggles (which was the name of Adam’s band in college). I guess I felt vulnerable. Often the lake makes me feel safe and loved, but today it seemed to turn on me. It was a little rough, for seemingly no reason. Anything could have roared up out of the murk to overwhelm me. And I guess the murk did. I was overwhelmed.

I think it mirrored the overwhelming (I’ve gotta stop writing that word—it looks weird now) I felt when our lovely houseguests were here. This is the first time people have stayed with us in about two years.

They were delightful. We’re both very quiet couples, and we hung out and read, and just relaxed. But it was also stressful, and I felt some defenses come out. Didn’t want em, but there they were.

In Chicago, lake mirrors you!