I was weird about religion as a child. Even though Atlanta is an island in the middle of the Bible Belt, it is still part of it. Someone still thought it was ok to put a small Klan symbol in the high school yearbook.* (They recalled them; he was suspended, etc. But still. This is the school system that emphasized State’s Rights as a Civil War cause as opposed to slavery, and near the location of the largest Confederate mural carved into stone. I say the largest, which means there’s actually more than one. Feh.)

I was so confused and bitter for the month of December. What do I do with this Christmas thing? Can I have some? Is it not for me? It was certainly being shoved down my throat everywhere I went. It’s not my religious holiday–Christian people** didn’t seem to recognize Passover or Rosh Hashanah, so why should I have been invited to Jesus’s birthday? On the other hand, my sister sang Christmas carols all year, and no Old Testament G-d came along to smite her. (Which seems out of character–he told the Israelites to stone a guy for picking up sticks on Shabbat, and killed everything in the world because they weren’t worshiping him enough.***)

In first grade, we made Santa Claus heads out of paper plates in art. (The real tragedy there was product over process.) In second through fourth, we sang Christmas songs the day before the Thanksgiving holiday after watching “Oliver!” every year. Oh, at the winter concert, a class sang the dreidel song, so…all better?****

 

Yesterday, we had our third rehearsal for Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins (or “rehearschel.”) Table work and dramaturgy. Katherine, the dramaturg, asked if the Jewish people in the room had any Hanukkah traditions that we’d share. (Short answer: not really…traditions were for important holidays.) But we all got the types of presents for what Lewis Black calls “the back-to-school-holiday”: pencils, notebooks, socks, plastic earrings, etc. But we got into other traditions. Someone***** yelled, “Shechet b’vacah shah!” And the room immediately responded appropriately.****** We started talking about all the inside [jokes-or-not] that Jews have, and with every passing minute, my outsider defense muscle unclenched. Because this was a room for us, and our comrades in theatre. It was pride that I felt when we learned about Yiddish theatre history. And it is a miracle for my young self that not only is there a play that caters to my people, but that I and other Jewish people are in it.

The song “Wherever you go, there’s always someone Jewish” is no longer something to aspire to, but where I am now.

 

Dear Little Amy,

There was always “Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins” somewhere. In Lvov. In New York. In Atlanta, even. Mazel tov on finding it.

 

 

*Now that I think about it, the Ku Klux Klan is like those daycare centers with the horrible names: Kiddie Kollege, is one that readily comes to mind. It’s an indication of ridiculousness; they’re “klowns,” if you will. Dangerous klowns, but klowns nonetheless.

**I was not aware that Islam or any other religion existed, though my 2 best friends in first grade were Iranian and Indian, and may not have been Christian or Jewish, now that I think about it.

***Torah G-d? Def “him”. But that’s another story.

****When did I learn about Eid, you ask? Oh, about five years ago. [insert embarassment-for-self-and-society emoji here]

*****me.

******”hey,” for my goyim out there.