WELL HELL(O) TO ALL OF US on this beautifully frozen apocalyptic morning!!!!*

In my excitement to slough off my newfound existential worry for the future of humanity, I’ve decided to stop going for sane and going for entertaining. JOIN ME in my dipsy doodle down the bunghole of the present and into the musings of my high mind** of better days.

• The 1990s smells like new CDs.
• FOAL-idge is, sadly, a correct pronunciation of foliage, although it’s non-standard.
• Peas=corn, but in a pod. Ergo: ear=cornpod.
• In Catholicism, you confess your sins. But if you forget your sins, they go away. That smells suspiciously of bullshit to me.
• Are Cenobites the equivalent of Hell’s engineers?***
• Did EVERYONE watch Saved By The Bell?
• Trump has a cumulocombover
• invent an instrument with a triple or quad reed. Why stop at two?
• most bands are tribute bands for themselves.
• everyone knows how to act, but the audience makes them forget.
• Briny Swine
• Is “The Tick” a retelling of “Man of La Mancha?”
• The U.S. is #1 in lobbying! U S A! U S A!
• the term “self-defense” is rhetorical.
• It would be awful to have a dog that’s a douche.
• singing is HARD
• kitchen tips are beef tips made of kitchen.
• do a play in the 0th dimension
• performance art: cutting through a tomato (it’s like ASMR for your eyes!)

Well, kids, that’s it for today. That was from Book #2, “The Blue One.” Hope your minds are all blown now.

 

 

*5:00 pm but what even are facts

**Sometimes while on The Marijuana, I am called by the universe to record notes.

***I’ve learned since then. No.