Poor Monday. It’s not Monday’s fault it’s followed by the rest of the workweek. Monday doesn’t want you to be sad. Monday doesn’t want you to work. But all it ever hears is “Oh no, it’s Monday.” “Mondays, amirite?” “I’ve got a case of the Mondays.” “Monday, the Steve of days.”

Monday doesn’t want to hear your shit.

Monday doesn’t want you to go to work. Monday wants you to barbecue with your friends out in the backyard. Monday will show up with chips and dip and urge you to continue your weekend. And yes—even in these sub zero temps. Because Monday parties hard.

Nobody ever takes Monday as their chosen day off. Why? Because five times a year, Monday is “Yeah! Three-day weekend!” This is Monday’s vibe.

Don’t forget, Monday is often the official start of your vacation. The summer. A whole week ahead of you. All the capitalists use Monday for their sick propaganda campaigns, when all Monday wants you to do is stay in bed with the animals and sleep it off.

So let’s be sluts for Mondays. Let’s celebrate this and every Monday by cracking open a handle of tequila and toasting to transitions.