Once upon a time, REI had a sale. And all the ladies in the land were invited. And they all brought their spouses and partners and significant others and sometimes just platonic friends. They all came on their pumpkin horses and bought ski equipment.

(Oh, and there was one land-lady that came alone, because she liked to go places alone. And that was ok.)

Pretty soon, all the skis and goggles and other ephemera were all gone. So they all migrated to the Moving Department. I mean shoes.

Some bought Salomon, many bought Merrill, two bought Teva, and Charlie the choo choo conductor bought Chacos.

But she found that when she stuck her toe into the big toe holder…she found that it was wanted for racketeering. And when the other toes slipped in-to place they were charged with abetting, and on the Discover card, no less.

So she was taken to jail, on account of her toes, and had to do hard labor at CPAC.

 

MORAL: MERRILL.

 

THE END