I expressed my disgust with the electorate and the election results.

She said, “But things are just as bad for Jews under either candidate.”

I gaped inwardly and probably outwardly and said, “You’re joking, right?”

She said no, and started talking about the war in Gaza: that the Jews are fighting for our right to live, but the Palestinians are fighting to exterminate us.

I said that most Palestinians were not Hamas, but innocent people trying to live, as well.

She said they were not. She said that Palestinian mothers raised their children to sacrifice themselves in suicide bombings.*

I said, “…I don’t believe that.”

She said, “That’s because you’re a good person. But it’s true.”

Then we had to end the conversation because we had to leave. Also, I needed time to process these ideas.

So I processed them, talking through them with my partner, who said flatly, “Dehumanizing people makes it easier to kill them.”

My responses now that I’ve “processed”:

1. No mother that is not mentally ill raises a child just to see them die. It also can’t be known fact; the only evidence is apocryphal.
2. Pirke Avot: “To save one life is to save the whole world.” In other words, to take a life is to snuff out the whole world. This is a Jewish value. If we are living according to our values, killing forty thousand and more Palestinians is absolutely unthinkable. It is genocide, no matter what jaunty spin you put on it. At this point, you are not “protecting” Israel. You are trying to exterminate The Others. We (Jewish people) should know this better than anyone else, and hold ourselves to a higher standard. Call it what it is: GENOCIDE. You can huff and puff and clutch your pearls about that word, but face your actions. Maybe you’re genociding because you’re afraid, because you feel threatened. Maybe you’re genociding because you need a scapegoat and European Jewry will do. It’s a moot point to the victims.
3. And I would like to take this argument back to our side of the world: Electing Kamala would have shouted the statement “we will not put up with racism, mysogyny, and” yes, AND, “antisemitism.” Electing Trump? The country has said, “Most of us have given permission to persecute whomever we feel like, so GO TO TOWN!”

“But groceries are expensive!” Hate to break it to you, but they’re not going to get cheaper. But now people won’t be getting any help for it.

 

Yeah. I’m disgusted. That’s my reaction to this worst of all timelines. Have a great fucking day.

 

 

*Terribly, this is not the first time I’ve heard this.

“Amy, we hate you. Go away.”

That was one of my origin stories. On Field Day, after moving around the bleachers for different seating, I was not getting the hint that three people were trying to move away from me.* So one of the three (we’ll call her Veronica) said those words that have stuck with me for the rest of my life.

And they affected everything. A ton of wonderful conversations have ended abruptly with me saying, “Anyway, I just wanted to say that and now I’ll get out of your way.” Relationships could have gone deeper but I didn’t want to bother them. Living with myself in my head, just knowing that people were only hanging around me to be nice, and if they had an excuse of any kind, they’d leap at the chance to get away.

I’m aware that I’m not the only person with this origin story. Some people don’t even get a concrete experience like I had; they just assume that this is the way it is. I guess this little post is for me and those people.

Last week, I was in Palm Springs for Ronny and Andi’s narrator retreat**. And I was nervous and anxious. But that first night, I let myself be. I was fully me. And I was comfortable. I was glowing. And everyone took me in without judgement, and with love.

The whole weekend was like that. Surrounded by my people, who were kind and understanding and mine.

Something I would go back and tell Little Me is that everyone has people out there. Lots of different kinds of people. And one of the delicacies of life is to go on a scavenger hunt to find those people.

And sure, there will be some people slamming doors in your face, or nobody home in some cases, or people who speak another language in flat monotone and don’t bother using their hands, but that’s ok. They’ll find their people, too.

I have found mine. Under rocks, in subway stations, and now in the heat of the desert. I’m gonna collect some more, and do what I can to use my little communities to make the world prettier. And I have people to help me. Thanks, My People.

 

 

 

*Why? Who knows. I’m fucking delightful.

**Which was absolutely delicious.